If there's ever been a day on this beat when so many have voiced their anger and disappointment in the Colts, I can't remember it. Not with the early playoff exits, injuries, mistakes, anything. Today has been surreal.

It began almost as soon as I woke up. I exchanged emails with a Colts fan on the East Coast. She was furious. Like so many others, her words expressed the popular sentiment that she had been betrayed. And she asked a rhetorical question for which there really isn't a profound answer: "Why should I care so much about a team that doesn't really care about me?"

This isn't a rationalization, folks, but to be honest, there has always been a disconnect between fans and the team. That's why this blog has become popular. That's why we try to offer more information and insight online in addition to what is read in the newspaper. And every now and then, the regular Joes and Janes are reminded of this divide. Yesterday, it was thrown in the faces of the masses. And it sure does sting. Nothing I can say or write will take away that pain, the unsettled feeling in the pit of your stomach, that awful taste in your mouths.

In anticipation of an 8 p.m. chat tonight that's going to be full of irate fans, I thought it necessary to try to tell you that I do understand. I didn't agree with the decision Sunday to sit Peyton Manning midway through the third quarter. It didn't make sense to me. Why risk it then against Jacksonville for a full game? Do many of you understand now why I picked the Jaguars to win that game? Because I believed what I had heard from the Colts' Jim Caldwell and Bill Polian in recent weeks. I was just one week too early. Who knew, for whatever reason, they would decide to win that meaningless game, presumably for the sake of staying in some perceived semblance of game sync, and then throw away the next one against the Jets?

Yet that's what the Colts did. They gave the game away. Well, Polian and Caldwell did. And if I could offer one viewpoint that you don't see mentioned among the mainstream reactions: This wasn't really Caldwell's call. He can take the hits because he's the coach, but this was Polian deciding what was best. And Caldwell, who is about doing his job and trying to manage what is best for the team in terms of winning the Super Bowl, stuck to the company line. Blame anybody you want, you're entitled, but as most of us should know from conflicts in our lives, it all starts at the top. Polian runs this team.

I've read a lot of emails that have targeted players, too. They criticize Manning for not insisting he finish the game. They think this is going to turn into another Brett Favre-Brad Childress controversy like in Minnesota? Manning did what the team wanted. And while it's easy to suggest he could have used his influential position to try to change this plan -- maybe he did -- it sure seems like this was out of his hands. I can't help but be curious, years from now, about if someone such as Manning will inevitably say what was really on the players' minds, that they wanted to go for 19-0 and they didn't agree with the decision. That they really hated this, too. I wonder if someone will say that with as much conviction, with as much sound and fury expressed by fans this day? We can only hope. Because knowing enough about these guys, it's fair to say most of them didn't want to be deprived of this chance at history.

Which brings me to another observation that is probably lost amid the unrest. The Polian plan had to be put into place for this game. If the Colts beat the Jets to go 15-0, how do you sit players and not go for the perfect season at Buffalo, when presumably it wouldn't take every key guy playing to achieve the objective? No, the Colts had to take this step back this week or they would have been thrust into a situation that inspired perhaps even more scorn a week later if they could somehow tank it against the Bills. I certainly wouldn't have agreed with the decision to throw away a game against the Bills any more than gift-wrapping one for the Jets. Come on. Just go for it.

I guess it doesn't matter now. What's done is done. I see more emails. Fire Polian. Fire Caldwell. This team is doomed. Here comes another one-and-done in the playoffs. And perhaps the worst: Even if the Colts win the Super Bowl, the question that remains for probably a 17-2 team is "Do you regret not going for 19-0, because it was there for you?" I'm not interested in hearing the response because company lines are always followed. But how can you not think, if this team accomplishes the final goal, that they could have won it all without giving away a couple games?

I wish there was something I could tell my one friend who has sworn off the Colts. There are others, sure, who have taken the time to email me directly and vent. That's what I'm here for today, no doubt. And the sensitive side to me wants to say the right thing. I want to give you what I can't, the reasonable explanation for why a team would give away a chance at history.

I'd like to be able to explain how a guy like Manning, who practices so hard and is so meticulous in his preparation, would need to play six and half quarters of meaningless football, but then sit down because he could get hurt. I don't get how he needed to be out there in the first place, if the Colts' company line was to play it safe. It doesn't make any sense. And I'm not buying this team needed to play some for fear of rust, a lack of momentum or staying in sync, whatever spin somebody wants to give it. Polian has already said he doesn't believe in rust or momentum theories. He's also suggested preparation is muscle memory, and that memory isn't lost unless a guy doesn't practice for three weeks. Again, if that's true, then why did you risk it when you did? Why did you give the fans hope that this unprecedented accomplishment could be realized? The players were still going to practice the next three weeks, right?

The Colts basically said, "It's right there. And you know we could do it. But we've decided not to."

The perfect words at a time like this? I don't have 'em. Hopefully fans won't keep quitting this team like my friend has. Hopefully they will be rewarded for their tested devotion with another Super Bowl victory.

If the Colts don't get the job done, for whatever reason, I'll understand if many more fans will decide to stay away. I'll hear you when you say it's not worth the investment, be it financial for season tickets or with your soul because you care.

I know you're ticked, folks. And you should be.